Letterbox
by pixeltrixxi
Summary: Draco Malfoy writes what was thought to be his last letter, to Harry Potter, of all people. What happens if Draco survived? HPDM DMHP SLASH ... don't like, don't read.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I got the inspiration to write this story from a video I watched on Youtube, (which is absolutely fabulous btw) and probably is familiar to it...so I'm crediting it...go watch it, it really is quite breathtaking... **

**Anyway, to the story. And just so you know, this isn't a one shot, however much it may appear to be one. It is one letter in many.**

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_Harry,_

_You will probably find this letter too late, which was my wish. It should be next to my dead body._

_I never wished for you to see me like this, at my lowest, but I wanted you to see to see me once last time, which is sick, I know. You'll probably be cursing me under you breath at this moment, admonishing me for being so foolish. I don't care...well. I do, I just don't care for anything but you..._

_But even that screwed up in the end. I should hate you at this moment in time, be cursing you from my place in heaven for refusing me once again. But I'm not. You still mean everything to me. After all, what else did I have left? A mental father locked up in prison, and a couple of alliances, that's what. Not even friends. Alliances. So however much I hated it, you and myself, I loved you. At first I tried everything and anything to get you out of my mind. I was convinced I was finally losing the plot, just like my father...not a happy thought. But then I realised...I was hopelessly and madly in love with Harry Potter. The Harry Potter. But not because of his fame, or his money, or the fact you finally defeated the Dark Lord. Because you were...well, so hopelessly you. I was torn between hating you for destroying my family, my friendships, and my hope and loving you for every little reason I could ever think of. The way your hair was always messy...the way you always looked so nervous in new situations._

_I hated myself for loving you. I never wanted to love anyone, definitely not you. Not Harry Potter. I hate you for making me love you as well. See how I even wrote your first name on the letter? That's how hopeless I am. And I hope you'll live to know it's all your fault._

_Why did you reject me? I guess I'll never know. I admitted I loved you, which was more than I planned. I was finally ready for a relationship. I needed a relationship. Especially with you. Even when I dated Blaise, whenever he'd have his arm around me I'd look around for you to see if you'd noticed and/or were looking particularly jealous. When we kissed, I wondered what it'd feel like to have your lips against mine. We even shagged in the end. I called out your name, yes, your name as I came. And that was the end of all of my friendships in the Slytherin house; they were disgusted to all lengths. So therefore, I had no friends..._

_I hope you are grasping what I'm getting at here, Potter. You made me loose all of my friends. Just months after you'd defeated the Dark Lord, which resulted in my father's mental health decreasing rapidly and my mother's death. Even aunt Bellatrix didn't come out alive. Scratch that, none of my family came back who wasn't insane. And in Azkaban. Well, close family. The ones I was close to._

_I'd confided in you, Potter, when I had with nobody else. I needed you. But where were you? Off snogging the little weasel. I hope you feel proud._

_Maybe you feel a sense of happiness now I'm finally dead. Seeing my empty body, broken and battered. Well, if all has gone to my plan, I should be dead by the time you find me. I even made sure you'd be the one to find me. But who knows, maybe I'll be alive. Only just. Or else I'll probably be getting some sort of sick satisfaction seeing you read my letter over my dead body. I'll make sure I'll come back as a ghost, don't you worry. I'll come to haunt you for all you put my through. Why did you have to make me fall in love with you, of all people, Potter? Why?!_

_So...that's it from me I guess. The end of my rant. But I guess I'll...well._

_Bye, Potter._

_I love you._

_Forever, Draco._

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Harry wiped a tear from his eye, and started to write his reply, whilst sitting next to the still figure of Draco in the hospital wing.


	2. Chapter 2

_Draco,_

_I don't even know why I'm writing this to you. I'm sat right next to you in the Hospital Wing. You're in a coma. Maybe I'm doing it because I'm bored. Or because I'm fed up. Your face is a deathly white, and you look nothing like you should. You don't have a little sneer on your face, that coldness in your eyes or even that I'm-better-than-you posture. It's unnerving. You should really wake up soon. Your hair is getting in a state._

_I hope you realize that was sarcastic. Actually, scratch that. Do you realize what you've done? Do you? Look, there's even tear splotches on this page. You made me cry, goddammit._

_I really do hate you, do you know that?_

_Besides you overreacting prick, do you realize that it wasn't too convincing when you told me you loved me? You said it in a mocking voice and starting insulting my friends. And you wonder why I reject you? Then you go and commit suicide. Then make sure you tell me it's all _my _fault, and for some sick perverted reason of yours, wanted for me to see you first._

_Why?_

_What is funnily ironic about this whole situation, is that despite everything, I love you._

_Yes, that's right. Harry Potter, hero of the Wizarding World, is in love with you, Draco Malfoy. I've always wondered why. Why couldn't I love someone less complicated? But then I reasoned with myself. It never had been easy with you, Malfoy. I always did wonder what it'd be like if the Sorting Hat put me into Slytherin like it wanted to in the first place. Would I still love you? Would I still hate you? Would you treat me the same?_

_It's hard to say. I've never seen you treat anyone with respect._

_And anyway, about Ginny. She isn't my girlfriend. I'm gay. Get over it, because it really is growing old. And besides, how come I never heard about you and Blaise? I never heard any stories about you calling my name as you came. If they all hated you so much, how come they never told the whole school?_

_I'll bet they'll think we're shacked up now, though. We've been in here for four days. Or maybe they know the real story. It's always a possibility. A secret never stays secret for long._

_I hope your happy. I've had brief, cold showers, cold food and I'm tired as fuck. Just to let you know, it's all your fault. You didn't have to commit suicide, you psychopath! It's like you're not used to people say no to you. Actually, it wouldn't surprise me. You were always the spoilt little brat._

_It was horrible to look at your broken body. Your bones were broken and jutted out in several different places. I was afraid to touch you. I...I didn't think you were alive. But you really are something. You jumped fifty foot, yet you're not dead. But you're not alive, either. At least you look better than you did when I discovered you. Your bones are mended and in their rightful places. You just have these little scars from where they were sticking out._

_Shall I tell you how I discovered you? Ah well. You don't have a choice. You're in the coma, not me._

_I was actually thinking about you when I received the note from you. _Meet me at the bottom of the tower, next to the entrance. From Malfoy.

_I was a little puzzled about why you'd want to meet me. And possibly a little scared, maybe anxious. You'd shouted you loved me while drunk the other day, then went on to say what a scumbag Ginny was. Maybe you were drunk again. Maybe you'd be angry for me for rejecting you._

_But I still went. Don't even ask me why. I hated you. Why would I arrange to meet the person I hated just after curfew? So I put my invisibility cloak around my shoulders, just in case. Then I snuck out, into the night._

_When I arrived, I thought it was a trap. I couldn't see you anywhere. Maybe you got the Death Eater to come to Hogwarts. But then I laughed it off. You, bring Death Eaters to the school? _

_You're probably offended by now, I can just imagine your face. Serves you right. Anyway..._

_Then I saw you at the bottom of the tower, legs and arms at odd angles...that wiped the smirk off my face. Maybe you were in a plot!_

_I crept silently to your body, still concealed by the cloak. I wasn't about to take any risks. But then, I saw. I saw your body. And I was afraid. And your eyes. God, I'll never forget that. The light was disappearing from your eyes. I thought you were dying._

_I bent down, unable to speak. You...you were dead? Impossible. I'd defeated Voldemort, already. This wasn't supposed to happen. This sort of thing wasn't supposed to happen. This was what I was fighting against in the first place. Even though my brain was telling me you were dead, I don't think my heart quite understood. And with this lurch of energy that came from nowhere, I grabbed your wrist in a frantic moment and checked your pulse...I found myself wishing that you weren't dead. Then I found it. It was rapidly slowing. My shock that you were still alive had soon recovered and I grabbed your frail body and ran with it as fast as I ever had. Once I'd arrived in the Hospital Wing, I screamed for Madam Pomfrey. You were alive, I kept on telling myself, so relieved. But yet my heart was travelling at the speed of light. You weren't dead, but you weren't alive by much, either._

_Then I noticed the paper in your hand that was in a deathly grip that was slightly loosening, then snatched it from your hand without Pomfrey noticing. Maybe this is what you wanted me to have._

_I sat by your bed, watching as Pomfrey, Dumbledore, Snape and McGonagall were running around. At one point Snape was about to kick me out, but Dumbledore and McGonagall both gave him a look. I'm glad they did that. I would've come down in my invisibility cloak anyway, but it's the thought that mattered._

_When they left, I read the paper. And then I was disgusted. Disgusted with you, me and everyone. Why did you commit such an act? Because you wanted me to grieve over you? I asked myself, but why would anyone be that selfish?_

_Then my head answered it. Because you were that selfish._

_And I've been by your side for as long as I can. I even eat here. I sleep here. All in the hope I will see you wake up. God, I hate you so much._

_Wake up. Please._

_Harry._


	3. Chapter 3

**I've just realised that the link I tried to post didn't work for the video that gave my the inspiration to write this...so if you want the link, send me an email (my emails are on my profile page). Thanks, hope you enjoy the story and please review! I love to hear any suggestions/what you think!**

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_Draco,_

_I should really stop this letter writing thing while I'm ahead. Even this is your fault. If you hadn't tried to kill yourself, you would have never written this letter, therefore I wouldn't have to write this one. I don't know how you manage it. You're selfish even when you're in a coma._

_We've been in here five days now. For me, that translates as five days without a proper shower, meal or anything social. Except a few people popping in out and every so often to see if we're both OK._

_You've even got some of the Gryffindors worrying about you. Ron, Hermione, Parkinson, Zabini, Crabbe and Goyle all came in here today. At the same time. Everything was civilised. They were even calling each other by their first names, which is a first._

_You've brought peace between Gryffindors and Slytherins. Apparently even Snape's being nicer towards the Gryffindors. Or it might possibly be because I'm not there for him to taunt. Neville came in and told me that Snape hadn't had a go at him once during the whole five days we've been in here. Snape must be pretty worried about you. And you should see the pile of chocolate, sweets and get-well cards that are piled up here. Even the Daily Prophet found out about it and wrote an article. You've got loads of letters. I'm starting to think who's more famous here, me or you._

_Anyway, apart from that, I've been pretty bored. Parkinson and Zabini asked to see if you were OK. They seemed pretty guilty about something, so I guess that's why you fell out._

_I'm surprised. Snape didn't even send me the piles of homework I was expecting. I don't know whether I'm actually complaining or cheering about that fact...all what I can do in here is read or watch you sleep._

_What happened, Malfoy? You were always so strong minded. Slytherin's are supposed to be ambitious. They're supposed to be cunning. They're supposed to never give up. Why did you decide to commit suicide the minute I said no? Why didn't you fight for me?_

_Why don't you goddamn wake up so you can answer my questions?_

_Your letter left so many questions hanging. I can't believe you wrote that before you committed suicide. I would have never got my answers._

_I bet you meant for that, didn't you?_

_You know, I don't know whether I want to kill you when you wake up or kiss you. You've put me through so much stress I'm surprised I'm not going gray already..._

_You're driving me crazy. Literally. I have brief naps, and even then, I cannot escape from you. I dream of you. I wake up and the first thing I smell is your unique smell. The first thing I see is your body, lying still and unmoving. You're so pale I'm not sure if paper is darker or not._

_Did you give the whole thing real thought and planning? Did you really not think people would miss you? Even _my _friends say it's not the same without you. There's the sullen, depressive mood that's going through the castle, almost as if the Dementors have come...but no, it's because of you. Did you never think of the after effects?_

_I bet you didn't. Hell, even I'm a little surprised at the attention you're getting. I'm not even sure whether you being in a coma was a good idea or a bad idea. You've brought house unity like no-one ever has before._

_You really are something, Malfoy._

_Over the past few days, when I've been even bored than usual, I've been thinking. About us. What will happen when you wake? Will you still want to go out with me, or will we go back to what we were like before? Fighting, name-calling, stuff like that. It all seems petty when you put it like that, doesn't it? So, what will it be? A kiss or a kick when you wake up?_

_I don't know myself. I suppose I'd like to date you. But even that seems strange. I don't think I'd get used to calling you Draco anytime soon, either. The name seems foreign on my tongue. Would you call me Harry?_

_I sure do hope so, you ungrateful git. I saved your ass out there, and you know it. If I had suspected it was a trap, then you would have been dead long ago. So maybe sometimes being the hero isn't a bad thing. I don't think you'll ever be able to say that as an insult anymore..._

_Anyway...I'll stop rambling and get back to being bored again._

_Remember...I hate you._

_Also...I love you._

_There's a fine line between love and hate, isn't there?_

_I'd love to see Parkinson and Ron get hooked up sometime (JOKE!)._

_Harry._


	4. Chapter 4

_Draco,_

_I guess I should stop trying to convince myself that I'm doing this because I'm bored and I have too much spare time... If I'm being totally honest, It's because...well...I care for you. A lot. I suppose it's hard to believe, but it's true._

_Why can't you just wake up so I can say all of these things to you personally? The chances are you'll never read these letters anyway. Because you'll either be dead and completely incapable to do anything other than lay there and look white, or you'll wake up and I'll have no reason at all to show you any of my letters to you._

_They'll probably be in some dark dingy corner of my wardrobe or something like that. Somehow they seem a little to personal to throw away...but I don't really know why. I'm writing to you while you're in a coma. Surely there's nothing more impersonal than that? Oh, I don't you. You probably would. But right now, you're no help to me whatsoever._

_Pansy and Blaise came today. I think they're feeling guilty about you, you know. They're mouthing 'sorry,' to you while they think I'm not looking. Maybe it's the time to forgive and forget, Draco. They're obviously worried about you. After a while, they started to talk to me. Maybe it was five minutes or it could've been five hours. Lately I haven't been keeping track of time...well...except for counting the days we've been in here (which is seven now, by the way)._

_Anyway..._

_I think they think that we're an item seeing as though I'm in here nonstop with you. I didn't even bother to correct them. They were even calling me by my first name. Not that I was complaining, of course. It makes a pleasant change from being called by your last name all the time. They weren't even hurling abuse at me like you lot normally do. That's a nice change, too. We were just talking about normal, everyday things. The things I usually discuss with friends._

_I suppose we are friends now, though. They are currently the first and only people who seem to want a laugh when they're in here. Everyone else usually thinks that they have to be all sombre. It's depressing._

_Apparently, some of the Slytherins are even sitting at the Gryffindor table to eat...the whole school is baffled._

_Come on, Draco. Wake up to see what you've done. You've done what nobody has done before..._

_Why don't you just wake up, Draco? Why...?_

_I think I'm going to cry..._


	5. Chapter 5

_Draco,_

_You're probably thinking that I'm an over-sensitive Gryffindor by now. I'm not usually like this. It's because of you...you're like one of those really addictive drugs that you can never get out of your system. You're killing me from the inside, Draco, can't you see? _

_Oh, of course not. You're in a coma. You probably couldn't give a shit about anybody else at the moment. God, how is it possible I can hate someone as much as I love them?_

_You should hear some of the rumours about us going round school, Draco. I suspect I haven't heard half of them either...Oh well. Why don't you just wake up and help me laugh all of them off?_

_Hmm...Pansy forced me to go to dinner with her in Hogsmeade today. Well, saying 'forced', I mean that everyone else was getting fed up of me constantly being in here with you, so she dragged me out. That's the first time in eight days I haven't been the whole day with you. Anyway, she was cool. Nothing like I'd expected. I thought it was going to be like when I talk to you. Sometimes I wonder why I bothered with you at all._

_Maybe it was the blonde hair that attracted me the most? Or perhaps the few times I saw you stretching in Quidditch. I just have to say, you have bloody fantastic muscles. I don't know how you get your hair to lie flat, either. I wish mine would. Just look at it._

_Anyway, this is getting way off topic. I was talking about Pansy, wasn't I? Well, she was saying that she'd support us 100 if we ever went out. I mean, it's sweet of her, but what if you don't want to be with me any more? What if you want to be with Blaise or someone else? I said thanks anyway, and I do mean it...it's just...can you ever imagine us two being a couple?_

_Well, I can. But imagine what sort of relationship it'd be like? Would you really be nice to me for once in your life? Or would it just be arguing, fighting and just shagging? Because if that's all you're offering, I'm not taking it._

_However much I do love you._

_Just wake up, why don't you? So we can discuss it?_

_You're a Slytherin...you're ambitious and cunning..._

_So why can't you come out of a coma alive then, dammit?!?_

_I guess I should stop before I rip a hole in the paper with the quill._

_Love & hate always, Harry._

_P.S. Wake up soon._

_P.P.S. Just give me a sign...please...anything. I'm waiting._


	6. Chapter 6

_Person who is hell bent on upsetting me as much as possible,_

_I haven't wrote in a couple of days...I guess it's because everyone's trying to get me to budge so they've basically been non-stop here with me. As I love to remind you, this is all your fault. And it's defiantly your fault that I have red-rimmed eyes and long uncontrollable mess hair that's unnatural even for me. Why don't you wake up, so you can shout your stupid insults at me?_

_It'll be a hell of a lot better than just sitting here waiting for you to make a sign..._

_Mind you, I guess you do look a little better. You're not so pale as before...Madam Pomfrey thinks that you're gonna wake soon, but I don't think she's gonna get everyone's hopes up just yet. She didn't tell me, but I knew what she was thinking. I should do, too. I've spent long enough in here now between the both of us._

_Now is one of the only times it's quiet in here. Pomfrey went up to Dumbledore for something or other, and we have no visitors whatsoever. So I decided to get out my stupid pointless letters that you'll probably never read either way._

_Although, I might consider it if you did wake up._

_God, who am I kidding. I'm blackmailing someone who's in a godamn coma..._

_Hang on a sec. Did I just see your eyes move, you asshole?_

_Ah. Probably just my imagination._

_No! You're doing it again._

_Damn you, you made me smudge you idiot._

_Who am I kidding? I'm complaining about a smudge where your eyelids are moving?!?_

_Maybe the blackmail did work after all..._

_Maybe there's a god._

_I think I might start going to church after this..._

_What the hell am I still doing? I'd better go get Pomfrey._

_Don't you move either, asshole._

_And keep moving your lids._

_Goooood Draco._

_OH MY FREAKING GOD! YOUR EYES ARE OPEN!!_

_AHHHHHHHHHHHH!_

_I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS!_

_And I'm still talking to you through the sheet rather than to your face._

_Okay, I'm going._

_Really. To Dumbledore's office._

_Everyone has to hear this!_

_Bye!_

_I LOVE YOU_

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_(stay awake, PLEASE!)_


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